Campaign of Harassment
The "established media," in their efforts to discredit and destroy Pals (and prevent him from holding office), have used all the means at their disposal to crush him. In 1988, an "obscene" paper, entitled "Deadcatpeed Inoven(NT)," was published in his name. The "Deadcatpeed" was distributed at a local business, which Pals subsequently threatened to "blow off the face of the Earth." As a result, Pals was charged with making terrorist threats. The charge was eventually reduced to disturbing the peace, but the damage was done. His reputation ruined, Pals has lost every election since.
Not satisfied with merely destroying Pals's reputation, the Media (along with their army of "mangy curs," including the Lincoln Police Department and the FBI), have continued their campaign of harassment against him. Their tactics have included harassing phone calls, accosting him in the streets and at his job, spraying him with chemicals, cutting off his electricity, planting animals in the walls of his apartment, sabotaging first his car, then his bicycle, and even attempting to kill him. Most recently, Pals' enemies have begun urinating in his food. Worst of all, in a cruel display of arrogance, they have ignored him.Pals's harassers have taken to tracking him, following every move he makes. Ever alert, Pals has observed his stalkers, even as they have spied on him. Pals describes the leader of his "obscene harassers" as 6'8" tall, about 200 pounds, with angular features and dark-rimmed glasses. The following is an actual photograph of the "obscene harasser," taken by Pals himself, using his patented "peep-hole" camera.
The "Obscene Harasser" is said to drive a salmon-pink 1968 Chevrolet Corvette. If you have any information regarding this person, please contact the authorities immediately.